As I was waiting for my friends to arrive at my favorite local restaurant I enjoyed the warmth of the fireplace in the waiting area. Reflecting of the last twenty-four hours of my life and a severe reaction to an antibiotic I marveled at how much I felt spent. I reflected I felt as weak as a popcorn fart. What? Where did that come from? Well if memory serves my correctly I was about 16 years old when I heard the phrase first. I was in the stock room when a truck driver come in to where I worked and ask for help unloading the truck. He mentioned he had a bout with the flu and said he “felt weak as a popcorn fart”.
So as I set there in the warm embrace of the fire I conjured up other such sayings I have heard over the years. So here it goes…..
“Barking up the wrong tree.” Though varies meaning have applied to this phrase I believe the concept is as follows: dogs would be used in hunting raccoons and sometimes they would either track the scent to the wrong tree. As they “barked up the wrong tree” the raccoon would escape. This lead to people using it when someone was off topic or they thought the other person was full goose bozo. But I dare to ask is it socially acceptable to “bark up the right tree”?
“Sly as a fox”: This one was lost on me for two reasons. First off is the fact I had never seen a fox before. Maybe, just maybe that is because they are sly.It also maybe the hunt in nighttime. Well my round eyes cannot see well in said night-time so that could be why I had not seen one. Secondly growing up in the seventies (or should I say living through the seventies since there is some debate if I have grown up yet) a fox was an attractive female. So you can see why that would confuse a teenage male such as myself.
“Piss up a rope”: To do expect the impossible or a futile act. I heard this phrase a lot during my years in the work force as in response to the request ” I want a raise”. There really is not much I can add to this one.
You might as well” hold your breath till your blue in the face”: I really have never seen someones face turn blue while holding their breath. Red yes, blue no. So I would guess this also means a big fat “no” to whatever was asked for. I see a bit of a negative pattern here. Ummm.
“Better late than never”: This implies it is better to do something even if it is later than not at all. Here is an example that shows this may not be true. Man : ” Happy anniversary honey!” Wife: ” That was last week…….honey!” Ouch.
” Their working me like a dog”: Early in the history of the domesticated pooch there was an expectation that a would dog work. They would hunting , herd livestock even pull milk carts and other “beat of burden” types of work. To my dog this meaning nothing. The only work he does is working the crowd when we take him to the park and licking himself “privately” in public. Good thing he is so darn cute!
As the title implies there should be a Act II but with the way my life runs I wouldn’t hold my breath if was you.