Somewhere along life highways and byways my face has forgotten how to smile. I am not sure when this happened but it has. I am sure it was a slow progression and over time I became comfortable about wearing my feelings and sensibilities on my face. I mean we are supposed to “keep it real” right? If we aren’t feeling it we shouldn’t be faking it right? But what does living this way do for me? How does this benefit everyone else? Man not more questions that I ain’t got no answers for(used intentionally for my homies- not really I really could not make another combination of words work here-sorry)!
Now you may be wondering (or not) what brought this to my attentions. Well,I was looking through some old pictures, you know the ones you hold in your hand that are developed on paper and look at not through some type of multimedia gizmo but with your own eyes. Anyways there was a skinny pimpled faced dude looking back at me. And he was smiling! Not the half- baked- non -teeth- showing smile I have now, but a real genuine smile and a freakin’ nice one by the way.
Now my smile still touches my eyes like it did when I was younger but my face has forgotten how to really, really smile. I know this because I looked in the mirror and gave my best smile: my eyes weresmiling but my face just couldn’t get it done. I don’t know but it is like all the worry and seriousness that I have made a priority in my life has pulled the corners of my mouth down. It’s made the muscles draw up in an unnatural, hard position behind my skin. My hope is that like all muscle there is muscle “memory” and with enough practice my face will accompany my eyes is a real smile.
I will keep you posted on this from time to time and maybe I will even learn a few “secrets” along the way I can pass on.
Author Note: Over the last year plus I have tried to smile more, play more and rediscover the joy of simply being. The smiles are not only on my face but they are slowly reaching my eyes. Peace.